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| For anyone that cares I dont use Xanga anymore I use wordpress so here is the URL for my worpress site. http://manwithnoface.wordpress.com/
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| I have had a job for almost 2 weeks now
at Lutheran Social Services, this would be a all fine
and dandy if I didnt work only 4 hours a week or so. I really
wish they would explained the job better, he told me that I could
possibly get up to 40 hrs a week, little did I know that you would need
5 clients in order to accomplish this goal. So I am down to a missly
$18 and my phone bill is coming up and my pay check will be like $20
which covers about half of that. Not to mention I need to pay each one
of my roommates about $170 for rent not including the month to come.
So here is the situation I either find a job real
fast and still wait 2 or 3 weeks for a decent pay check then play catch
up with bills; move back home (which I dont really want to do, most of
you understand why) or beg for a job on winter staff back at camp,
which would be awesome cause I love it there. The only thing is, I am
really worried that I wont go back to school if I go work winter staff
which is ok I guess cause I can always go back, but I dont want to
graduate when I am 26 or older. I know I have great friends that will
support me with whatever I do, but advice would be great here. I really
dont want to be stuck here without a decent job and making people feel
obligated to take me in. I came to Moorhead to be independent and I
really was expecting to fail at it cause I needed the life lesson, but
to what cost I do not know. So give me some advice on this one.
P.S. Check out my DeviantArt page at http://superbleeder.deviantart.com/
-X
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| Ok, so last thursday I went to the cities to go to
the club with some friends from from down there (sorry Mel I didnt
call) and it was a blast cause the greatest DJ in the world was
playing, Armin Van Buuren (ok he is ranked #3 but whatever). My parents
continue being difficult and acting like high schoolers, especially my
dad cause for some odd reason now that they are seperating he feels the
urge to tell me every little detail of what is going on. I tell you he
has said more to me since this has happened then he has in my entire
life, thats why its a little awkward. But I listen anyways, my mom
seems to be getting more and more selfish as things go on so I am jus
trying to stay out of it, especially trying not to ask them for money.
That plan didnt work out so well because I would
have been fine if I didnt get my first speeding ticket on the way home
which cost $120. I then forgot that I needed to pay my phone bill and
rent so I am now down to $36.28. Good news is Lutheran Social Services
called this morning to tell me that they want to hire me, bad part I
dont start till the 27th. WTF am I going to do till then with only 36
bucks, not to mention I wont even get paid a couple weeks after that. I
am up a creek without a paddle here, drowning in my own boredom. I
thought about taking on a night stock job somewhere, like Target or
Fleet Farm (sorry Cody may be a last resort), gonna need the extra
money for a new car anyway. I am about ready to give up cause this
shite is so frustrating, there are many other things going on too but
they frustrate me so much I cant even speak of them. A loud scream
would fit could right about now.
Get this shit done with already and let me live my life.
-X
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| I had my interview for Best Buy to work in the
computer department yesterday and they told me they would call me in 3
days to let me know if I need to come back for an interview with the
GM. This makes me realize how much I hate waiting, especially for news
about my life. I also have been waiting for my last paycheck that my
mom sent up here to Moorhead over a week ago, so its either on its way
back or lost in the mail.
I feel really useless right now without a job and
not going to school, I sit around the apartment all day just thinking
about all the things that have happened in the past few months. I
havent thought about my parents getting divorced that much probably
cause I dont want to deal with it. I feel bad about some of the things
I did this summer, I feel like I wasnt a very good friend to anyone.
The things that made me happy no longer do, and I
look around me and see all the people drowning in a blissful world that
isnt there. Happiness never lasts forever, it is taken away as soon as
it makes you full, creating this state of being everywhere.
A little poetic depression for the masses, still hoping to divert someone from this path.
Waiting to be held.....
-X
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